Sunday, May 11, 2008

week 13 ...no sight of heartbeat

I started spotting end of week 12 after the midwife couldn’t find the heartbeat with the Doppler. It went on for 4 days. It got heavier on day 4. I contacted the midwife who immediately made arrangement for a scan at the hospital. This was on Sunday, Mother’s day, and Matt’s birthday. Funny isn’t it??

 

The scan showed a sac and maybe something inside. There wasn’t any sign of heartbeat. Not so good news. Those doctors on duty refused to make any conclusion except that a formal scan is required. Matt and I didn’t think that was good news but we’ll come back for the formal scan to receive the verdict. L

 

The doctor took some blood to test the pregnancy hormone level and other stuff.

 

Matt and I prayed prior coming to the hospital. We’re also well supported by our group of church friends. If the child heartbeat isn’t detected at the formal scan, it could mean 2 things. For one, the machine isn’t detecting it. Secondly, the baby isn’t alive.

 

Because there is a 50% chance that it’s still alive, I’ve decided to go through with a natural miscarriage. I believe God’s has designed the body to dispel what isn’t working inside. The midwife said that 2 weeks of heavy bleeding could be expected. After that if excessive bleeding continues maybe some traces of the pregnancy is still left behind in the womb, a D & C is required. I’m comfortable with that.

 

At the moment, we’re still hoping against hope. In worst case scenario, Matt still have his lovely wife around, also mean that she can get pregnant again. So, it really isn’t the end of the world. The worst thing is to break the news to the potential grandparents.  

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